Katherine the Great
Music by Mat Greaves, Lyrics by Zach Cohen
Let me tell you story ‘bout great woman
Leader of a vast and foreign land
Some say that she was goddess more than human
But she still succumbed to icy hand …. (of death!)
Great mother and a lady of prowess
Her virtue was unrivaled, but of course
I think you know that her last breath
Was taken from underneath a horse.
She had a taste for the exotic,
A bit unusual, some may say.
But when it came to the erotic
She preferred to buck and bray… (heeeey)
Members of her Council begged and pleaded
You must change your lustful ways
You’re a lady prim and proper
In the stable never lay (heeey…)
Their cries fell upon deaf ears
Until came that fateful night
She was taken from the rear
And she was in for quite a fright
Katherine wasn’t so great
This is how she met her fate
Katherine wasn’t so grand
Maybe now she’ll understand
Katherine was taken by force
She met her maker,
While porking a horse.
They found her frozen the next morning
With lustful, shocking look on face
She was laid out on the floor of stable
With candles laid out all over the place
Quietly there stood old Boris
Casually chewing on some hay (hey hey hey hey hey)
They brought her up into her bedroom
What was there left to say (heeey)
Katherine wasn’t so great
This is how she met her fate
Katherine wasn’t so grand
Maybe now she’ll understand
Katherine was taken by force
She met her maker,
While schtupping a horse.
They came up with a great story
‘Bout passing away from a stroke
She went to bed on that cold evening
And Katherine never awoke
But the truth about our tsarina
Is a sad and cruel joke
She died with a penis in her
And still straddling the yoke (yoke)
Katherine wasn’t so great
This is how she met her fate
Katherine wasn’t so grand
Maybe now she’ll understand
Katherine was taken by force
She met her maker,
While boning a horse.
So parents teach your children well
Don’t go into politics
Or you’ll end up like her as well
Crushed to death by massive dicks
But that’s the story of our lady
She gambled with her life and lost
And now her reputation’s tarnished
And her salad fully tossed
And now she lies in Russian soil
She’s become a laughingstock (ha ha ha ha)
All because we know that she had
A lustful taste for the horse cock
Katherine wasn’t so great
This is how she met her fate
Katherine wasn’t so grand
Maybe now she’ll understand
Katherine was taken by force
She met her maker,
While screwing a horse.
Katherine wasn’t so great
This is how she met her fate
Katherine wasn’t so grand
Maybe now she’ll understand
Katherine was taken by force
She met her maker,
While fucking a horse.
